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:iconayoshen:

~Ayoshen

Keeper of Allie's Cuteness
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A completely different rant

Thu Sep 3, 2009, 11:48 AM
Rant of the moment: First, school. Yeah, you can skip the next paragraph.

God, it's the third day and school's pissing me off tremendously. I came home at half past 7 yesterday, had to do some homework for two hours and after that I jumped straight into bed because I was completely, absolutely wasted. I didn't even do all of the homework, a quarter of it I finished in the school today. I think this is going to be a bloody long year, with my mom being psycho about me going to sleep at 9 PM (now's half past, bwahaha) on a level that she argues with me about it even six times a day. I really don't have the energy for this. NEITHER do I want to go to sleep at freaking 9. D; My new classmates haven't pissed me off so far; actually, I think most of them is rather nice. Or at least I had thought that until I saw two of them smoking on the train station on my way home today. Yeah, high school, better get used to that.

Second and completely unrelated rant. I'm questioning my sexuality. Again. After... let's see... three years of being completely, absolutely, definitely, 100% sure I was a lesbian (act surprised). ...Until I watched the X-Men movies. Believe it or not (oh.. you'll most likely believe it, it's just that I don't in hell), I have a crush on Wolverine... I... think. Actually, I don't. No, I don't know. I'm not making any sense, am I. o_o He seems much less.. disgusting.. to me than other men. I mean I do like male actors too, like Keanu Reeves and Alan Rickman (HOMG HOMG SNAAAAAPE) but... I like Wolverine. I mean a lot. He's just.. damn... know what I mean? ...I'm talking nonsense o_o Anyway... yeah I'm just.. weirded out... a lot... I didn't read any House fanfics today and I've read 4 Wolverine/Rogue fanfics so far. Seriously, who am I and what have I done with myself. I thought it was Rogue I liked, with her being my favorite pre-movies character and Anna Paquin being one of the cutest beings alive <3, but now I'm like dude... wait... Oh fuck.

-sighs-

I don't know myself and lemme tell you, that just SUCKS. ;_;

Oh well, I never knew myself.


PS: Also, I figured I'd be bored as hell at school during breaks, so I started reading The Gun Seller by Hugh Laurie and lemme tell you, it's honestly the funniest, most addictive thing I've ever read in my life. Go read it.

23 Comments
  • Mood: Worried
  • Listening to: The Guild - Do You Wanna Date My Avatar?
  • Reading: The Gun Seller
  • Watching: HOUSEH
  • Playing: Kaite Oboeru Dora-Gana
  • Eating: Random piece of meat
  • Drinking: Coke

Devious Comments

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:iconlaprasek:
=laprasek Sep 4, 2009, 9:07:06 AM
Oh my god, you have no idea how much you actually remind me of myself some time back.
Well, ask yourself the most basic question: can you imagine sleeping with the guy? And - can you imagine living with him in a harmonious relationship? If so, then you're probably a bisexual. This has worked for me when I was figuring out my own sexuality :)

--
i'm standing at the shore, looking at the pretty pebbles and seashells washed up on it and marvelling at the wide ocean beyond...
:iconayoshen:
~Ayoshen Sep 4, 2009, 9:31:41 AM
-shrugs- A lot of us have to go through that every now and then, I guess.
Well, I've been asking myself those questions a _LOT_ lately. The problem is, I can't really come up with an answer. I just don't know 0_0 Good God. I dunno. I think I could sleep with the guy, maaaaybe -looks around nervously-, but.. eh... when I close my eyes, it's a girl. -coughCameroncough-
...
Know what I mean?
...
-Awk. Ward.-

...So... yeah. I just dunno. o_o Also.. a harmonius relationship... with the Wolverine... tehehe... yeah... right... :rofl: ^^;

I came to a... sort of conclusion today, that I don't go after a specific gender, I lust after a certain personality type. ...Does that make sense? o_o; -sighs-

--
"You're not gonna get everything right. But you're never gonna get everything wrong." ~Allison Cameron, 4x06 Whatever It Takes
:iconayoshen:
~Ayoshen Sep 4, 2009, 9:39:26 AM
There's also the fact that I -yes, I admit it- don't want to be straight. One thing is, my mom always says bullsh!t like I know you're normal anyway, blah blah blah blah and yeah I'm that kind of kid who'd screw her own feelings just to piss her mother off ^^; Okay not really but you get the idea. It makes me even more... say, "fixed" to the same gender... you know.

And well... I've had my dose of screwed up men in my life. For this life and the eight lives afterwards. And then some. (I know this sounds incredibly crazy and terrible and I'm 14 and all but just trust me on this one. I. Don't. Like. Them. (Not prejudiced, I just don't like them... in general. (Except my friends. Damn you know what I mean, I'm tired of brackets.)))

--
"You're not gonna get everything right. But you're never gonna get everything wrong." ~Allison Cameron, 4x06 Whatever It Takes
:iconlaprasek:
=laprasek Sep 4, 2009, 9:52:34 AM
It depends, really. I had this period when sleeping with guys looked real attractive to me, but somehow, I never did it, and nowadays, I feel bleh every time someone mentions straight sex ^^; I guess it will settle with age, or shall I say, when you have tried both kinds of relationships :)
Lusting after a personality type sounds like something very familiar to me. XDD But it turns out I've been mistaking my terms in this matter. Interacting, as in talking, with the guy is just enough for me, but I need to be with the girl, so I guess this makes me a lesbian ^^;

--
i'm standing at the shore, looking at the pretty pebbles and seashells washed up on it and marvelling at the wide ocean beyond...
:iconlaprasek:
=laprasek Sep 4, 2009, 9:54:13 AM
Ohmygod, that is SO like me. XDD I've never WANTED to be straight, because I find this ... "prey game" between the genders so goddamn sick. I mean, what exactly is so thrilling about submitting to a guy? About making yourself a pleasure tool for him? I never quite got the point... ^^;
About screwed up men... welcome to the club XD I've also had my dose of them, and I don't think I could handle any more ^^;

--
i'm standing at the shore, looking at the pretty pebbles and seashells washed up on it and marvelling at the wide ocean beyond...
:iconayoshen:
~Ayoshen Sep 4, 2009, 10:02:53 AM
Hell, YES! -nods- You're so my type 8D Exactly. I mean... just... why? ^^; I'm not even that afraid of all the gay-hate out there, compared to... well... a man. -shivers-
Welcome to the Broken Hearts Club. Vodka? Martini? :3

--
"You're not gonna get everything right. But you're never gonna get everything wrong." ~Allison Cameron, 4x06 Whatever It Takes
:iconlaprasek:
=laprasek Sep 4, 2009, 10:06:59 AM
Gay-hate is not so bad for lesbians. But still, from time to time, I get shivers when I see the Neo-nazis march through the city or when I think about the possibility of being kicked out from my future job just because I love the same gender... yeah, not so good ^^; Men, on the other hand, are generally very close to being retarded and can be fooled easily ^^;
I drink wine, I once got so drunk from vodka I don't want to see it any more XD

--
i'm standing at the shore, looking at the pretty pebbles and seashells washed up on it and marvelling at the wide ocean beyond...
:iconayoshen:
~Ayoshen Sep 4, 2009, 10:07:23 AM
Well I still put on my BLEHface and look away when there's straight kissing/sex on TV ^^; ^^; Just... ugh. I mean let them do whatever they (/the writers) want. I just don't have to watch it. ^^; (that's what I say about yaoi all the time, just, God, NO.) In some cases though, I don't mind... Sometimes I like it. It depends on the people. Hence my confusion. o_o

Oh, I see. Methinks I really need to find a guy to talk to and a girl to sleep with to get over this and be able to tell the difference! ^^;

--
"You're not gonna get everything right. But you're never gonna get everything wrong." ~Allison Cameron, 4x06 Whatever It Takes
:iconayoshen:
~Ayoshen Sep 4, 2009, 10:13:04 AM
Yeah, it scares me. Once I saw this documentary about Muslims on YouTube and it really scared the shit out of me. They throw gays off the roof. The torture them. They... well, in the end, they kill them x_x I was depressed for quite a while after watching it. Seriously, never watch videos about Muslim dictators.
Also, not so long ago I read about this American girl who got gang-raped because she was a lesbian. Sigh. What have we even done? :(
I like vodka. In all femslash fanfics, vodka leads to hot lesbian sex. Which means.. VODKA TIME 8D But no, I actually don't like it too. I had it twice, maybe three times. And I dunno, the first time it was okay but then it made me want to throw up ^^; Eww.

--
"You're not gonna get everything right. But you're never gonna get everything wrong." ~Allison Cameron, 4x06 Whatever It Takes
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